All the leaves are………you know how the song goes, probably one of my favorites!!! California Dreaming? NOOOOOOOOO…I’ve been to California in the heat of AUG and just about froze my ASS off!! I remember coming back to Minnesota and 90 Degree Humid heat and for the first time, I LOVED IT!!!!  But yeah, dreaming of sunny warm days, as we near October and its miserable cold winds and rain…and soon…………….Snow!!!

  Well .. last week, I gave the last two Kittens away to their new and wonderful owners….What a life they are having. I’m fortunate to be in touch with most of the new families, as some are friends…..or have become friends.  Now LuCi is about to have her second litter…and very likely her last, as it’s just not the healthiest thing for smaller cats to have too many litters….Being that she is Maiine Coon…she is still a kitten herself….One year old, with 3 more years of growing…as these cats tend to get a bit larger than the average house cat.  I’m anxious to see the new crew….which will likely enter this world in about 10 days or so……they’ll be ready for CHristmas and I’ll again be screening the ‘potential new homes’……I’m particular about this…as I made sure the last litter had Plenty of interaction, play time and so much love that I almost thought of them as my own little fluffy balls of love.

  My CD “DiRTY CRiMES” has almost been collecting dust. So many positive and wonderful changes have taken place in my life, that the Finishing of this  CD has been a bit of a challenge, not to mention funding which seems impossible considering I don’t do my own fundraising…although I have considered it!!!   I have had the Great Fortune of working on some heavier projects, like ELEPHANT GIRL with Jane Devin…which She FINALLY received funding for and she has big plans with her book, the song I wrote is part of it…….her story is incredible!!!  I’ve also done the vocals for Slim Girl Fats song ‘SUNRISE’ and we’re both very pleased at the outcome of that………You can listen and download for free http://soundcloud.com/slimmie/sunrise-feat-suzen-juel-free we hope you enjoy it as much as we have!!!!!

 My whole life has changed in the past several months….sometimes that’s why I can’t keep up on things, because so much has happened that I don’t even know where to begin talking about it, nor do I even think it’s relevant to my blog…..those that know me well, well………….they know me well, and there are very few, who truly know ‘me’.  I”m grateful for my close friends/family….without them, I sure would have stayed a big mess…..but when someone Turns your Lights on in life…as difficult as it is to see the mess before you, it’s awesome to see the  beautiful things you once overlooked…because of the darkness one can surround themselves with sometimes.   Sometimes people find it easier to stay in their darkness….it’s familiar…..but I’m finally taking off the ‘sunglasses’ because I’m finally used to this amazing light in my life…..and now, it’s comforting……and to be honest, I like the struggle of change…even though change is tough, hard and uncomfortable…….once it’s over, it’s pretty damn amazing to see this ‘new world’ before me.   Now I’m trying to be patient with the songwriting…as I’ve always been partial to the darkness of my chord in life…….finding the lighter side in life, has left me with new WORD Challenges and I’m anxious to see where this leads me…in my writing.  I must say….SUNRISE with SlimGirlFat has been a blessing…..a HAPPY SONG is nice too!!!

 I hope to KICK off OCTOBER with a new season of NAKED ACOUSTIC SESSIONS and have already been getting requests from musicians to be a part of this seasons Sessions……So I”ll be starting that as soon as I can sit down and find time to Log into Second LIfe……….summer was sweet and busy and chaotic and wonderful…….and with the cold bitter chill of Minnesota Winters….I”m ready to settle down for a few months and perhaps get into Second life, more regularly instead of for my regular scheduled shows.  I also have more gigs in the Metro (St. Paul and Minneapolis areas) which keeps me afloat and connected. THere are a few musicians I’ve been meeting locally that II find  Great Satisfaction in performing with.     …….

ENJOY your first day of AUTUMN and I’ll certainly try to keep you posted on new things……………For more regular posts….join my Facebook network ( Suzen JueL ) pretty easy to find….I also have a FB Fan page…with my same name…one is with a small l and one with a Capitol L……………………….PEaCE ON with your badaZZ self!!!!!

PS….. check out thestage.tv                     I’m a big fan of this website, however I am not on it as often as I once was, due to lots of projects happening here and now that don’t include sitting in front of my computer all day……there is just no way I have time to do that,  but on a good day, you can find some great Live Music with it’s Open Mic format and it’s a great way for musicians to expose their new stuff….jsut not a place I care to oversaturate anyone with my music…..being that I’m working on a new cd..the last thing I want to do is over saturate my dearest fans…..you all know where to find my music   STAY TUNED for the new cd….I am still uncertain of it’s release date, but as usual, when my Soul is ready to explode it out, you’ll know!! THANKS for all your support and Do feel free to donate what you can, to help me with expenses…….and believe me, there are expenses!!!!  ( there should be a donate or paypal button right on my website) Much peace and Much Love in all you do!!! – Suzen JueL

It’s  such an incredible feeling to stop fighting and just accept. Perhaps it’s the smallest thing, or maybe it’s a life changing choice you’re about to make….there is a sense of true peace when your entire insides offer you 100% clarity.  When this recently happened to me, it was as if someone ripped the heavy shades right off the windows, and so much light came pouring in, that it actually hurt. That’s the best analogy I can come up with. It hurt, the clarity of aspect of my life were clear as day and suddenly life had become HD in front of me. It took me a few days to adjust, the clarity didn’t go away, it wasn’t just a moment that came and went and left me back in my darkness…I can’t find the blinds, and for the first time, I don’t want to. And OH HELL is there ever a mess in front of me….like I said, it’s a very High Definition Moment!!! I could see every detail of my life, the threads, the emotional textures woven in between like fine fine hairs.  The scariest part is…I can see now…and I don’t have the least intention of ever putting the blinds up again, even if I did find them!

I will likely not write much about this, because the process of change is ever evolving and every day there is a new challenge and a new perspective to see things from.  Transitions are prob. the hardest part of change, going from one way, to another,  becoming YOU again…and of course, there is always change and I believe it is something to be embraced, even if it’s a little prickly and hurts sometimes….it’s because embracing is accepting..and that has a way of changing us, letting us see ourselves in the mirror again, showing us we really are there.  And it hurts and it’s a relief and it’s change, and that is life.

On another note, I finished Elephant GirL for author Jane Devin feel free to take a listen, @janedevin on twitter, wanted me to put that up on Soundcloud before adding to her book Trailer “Elephant Girl”. I have been honored to be a part of this experience in her book, you’ll have to read her blog to read about the fantastic piece of word art, she has created!

Kitten news…they’re within a week of being ready to head off to their new homes. I still have two little girls with quirky crooked tails and multiple toes awaiting new homes….meanwhile they can remain with me and my original Luci and 7 Hemmingway… ‘meet the parents’  haaa!   I post lots of pictures of them, in their folder LuCi and 7 Hemmingway and of course, lots of the little ones, there are four total.  They grow fast..hardest part is litter box training, some go easy, some go next to it some go in a WHOLE NEW SPOT that you never would have thought of, like your pile of imp. papers that you carelessly tossed on the floor for a moment,  prob. while thinking of something else, that you never came in that room for to begin with…and the papers sit there, because you’ve forgotten you even grabbed them and…for what? Anyway, yep, there’s a brand new treat left by one of the furrr balls that have taken over my bedroom!  I like to focus on the photo opportunities these creatures give me, and the wonderful hair styles they make on my head while I’m sleeping…a nest of sorts, as if they have created a new home, in my hair…top of the pillow, perched up there like they get to have this whole bed….and oh, well  ’she’ can sleep here too I suppose! haaaa

After finally finishing Elephant Girl, I hope to continue on my CD that has been put on hold, for so many reasons……. A good theme is my title…..and it seems to finally be ready to shoot off in the direction of finding just the right songs to represent exactly what the CD means…. Dirty Crimes is going to be a tight set of songs that have found their ways into the changes, the creases, the paths in my life……I’m shooting for Oct, November……Maybe sooner…..we’ll see. There are many doors more to open and many more that will close and then there will be an entirely new color evolving in the constant string of words, that is my life.

It sure is one of the strangest processes …. writing a song. I’ve been feeling the ‘brewing’ of it for some time, and sometimes I find myself putting my life into various categories and themes…in order to fit the ingredients…brewing in that mental pot.  .  . So I rearrange a few things and try to somehow tap into that …scent…like when you make soup, and  you have to continue tasting, until it’s just right…however it begins, is the base for what will become of it.                 .   So I finally get it. The song that stays in my head.  Seems to always be a sign of ‘what will stick’ with listeners, if it sticks with me, and it won’t leave my mind. This lyrical loop starts to happen and it can go on for days.

I like to think of what inspires a song. It’s one of those things I don’t often realize, until I hear the playback. Every time a song starts, from the first note on, I’m recording. I like to come back to it a number of times and see what direction it wants to go, what progression works best for the lyrics or perhaps even inspire some lyrics.  My new song started out as finger picking…I love the melodic flow of finger picking, soothing to me. Lyrics just came with every note, little words here and there until finally several loosely written verses were out. I walked away, came back a few hours later, and something had changed, and the verses re arranged themselves according to shape..sound. (This is where my synesthesia often becomes very crazy strong) Once the ‘shapes and sounds’ mark themselves visually, the rest of the words just start to fill in.  Then…I walk away again  (it’s a process of sorts haa) and come back….Now the finger picking style has gone away and turned into a crazy slap rhythm and the entire vocal pattern changes, gets rounder and warmer…after that it’s a matter of seeing which style best fits the content it inspires.  Once again Dirt, Earth and those types of themes seem to carry the strongest lyrical pull, and it’s puzzling to me how themes become so prominent in songwriters.  It takes some listening to hear a songwriters theme, and it can often change, but more like branches off the same tree, or at least from a similar garden!

I’m anxious to see where it takes me, and then give it it’s first ‘appearance’ in the array of the pages…see what happens.  There have been a few songs I’ve written in the past few months, but once I write them, they’re done, they leave, I often forget them, tuck them somewhere….not for any reason that I know of…Until Songs that Stick happen…and I’m NOT tucking it away and I become obsessed with it, it keeps banging on the door of my mind, spilling in new lyrical ingredients, changing the tone, the scent while I just let it become, what it will become.

…

Life has been an unforgettable ride as of late. 2010 was just spectacular in so many ways, as mentioned earlier, Social Media played a big part in connecting all kinds of era’s of my life, into one page, called Facebook.  I find this TOTALLY DISTURBING on one level and incredibly mind blowing at the same time.  As a child…we called each other, or just went over to each others houses to play, to listen to music…we formed our groups in life, found our forever friends, lost what we thought was the only thing we had, and gained better in the long run. We connected, we looked at each other when we spoke, we wrote letters by hand, pressing our names deep into the paper. We drove from one side of the state to the other and across borders and into other countries, we traveled to hear music…..and well, so much has changed. SO MUCH!  I’ve always had my life in compartments, era’s, times, events and experiences mark the time line, not necessarily ‘dates’….there is the Sue ‘era’ the Suzi ‘era’……the Suzen….there is life before marriage and life since being married, there is geographical marks all over….the Public, the Private etc…..It all has a ‘slot’ in my memory….the theme often carrying strong words and memories with it. The early 90s all my songs were about shoes and angels…this is when I knew this person and this person had a HUGE IMPACT and life went on and we forget and forget and fade….Until Facebook…and Someone you haven’t Forgotten, however you’ve somehow gone your own ways in life, there they are, after 10 years, or 20 and in a few cases even More!  Some of the meetups and phone calls with the ‘ghosts and angels’ of my past were disappointing…realizing time certainly did some serious numbers on us…or them or me.  Other times it’s like stars fall from the sky and love fills the shallow spot all over again, sometimes soulmates, the best of the best, well they just don’t go away. Mine are back….2011 sure is going to be a SPOTLIGHT….I’m constantly coming to terms with various realities and it just gets easier and easier to do. The lessons are page turning fascinating for me and I’m looking forward to sharing some of those with you, my readers…friends etc…..

On that note. I’m done, until my next mental leak…..Peace

I’ve thought about updates…they’re not much, really. 140 characters or less, is pretty standard. I’ve even heard people say “Well, no need to call him or her, I just check their facebook status.” And I think, “HUH?” wow…but it’s true, isn’t it? But what does a status really say? “I’m making dinner and it sucks,”…or “Will that person in front of me stop driving like an IDIOT!”…Granted, there are many that I find of interest. Like when a musician friend of mine might be  performing and where. Is it in the Virtual world, or local? Maybe I can catch the performance. Or perhaps a social networking guru wrote an article or released their lastest ipod thoughts and it might be of interest. Oh, and Humorous youtube videos ALWAYS ROCK!’

So what’s my REAL Status update? The one with more than 140 characters. That’s difficult for me, because I’m quite vague online. I feel no need to get into personal things, my marriage, my kids, my family…I don’t share on social networks…it’s personal to me, and out of respect for them, I don’t go on and on about their personal lives either. My friends…they’re personal to me, sacred. Posting fun things, is one thing, but posting personal things about personal issues, is never going to happen on my facebook or any other social network out there.  What i CAN talk about is life…the lessons in it, things I discover, explore, show’s that I have coming up, performances I want to share, photo’s I like to experiment with, what made me smile…etc… But when I really think about it…that IS what a Blog is for, isn’t it? Just to write. It’s more like society has started Journaling online. Things we would normally write in our diary, we tend to publish online, maybe for no other reason other than…we can.  Maybe someday I’ll write about all those personal things, but meanwhile it just seems appropriate that what I write, pertain to what I’m known for…that only makes sense. I write…lyrics mostly…with this BIG GOAL of writing a book. I don’t know what it’ll be about really, there are so many directions it COULD go in, so what would be the focus? I don’t know…my life is only beginning…perhaps I’ll write ‘the book’ when I’m much much older and ready to pass on…

As far as songwriting goes, I’m in this shattered glass world. I keep finding pieces of songs in me, and writing them down, sometimes the music, sometimes the lyrics…then it just fades, like a dream. The more I try to remember it, the more it fades. Then it comes back later. I guess they could be full songs, 3 verses is kind of SMALL, but it’s not unheard of. I then forget about them, they didn’t ‘STICK’ .. they’ve got to STICK in order for me to want to do them more, some do, some don’t. I’ve learned, not to try so hard, just let it happen. Various influences in life can interrupt the cycle of writing, seasons change it…this is the time of the year my creative energy runs quite high…so even though I’m at a block with songwriting, to some degree, the creativity is coming out in all sorts of other way, ways I can fine tune, with time…just as I have with other things .. as we all do in life, some things we can fine tune, other things, need fine tuning. Ink drawings, painting, percussion, harmonica, slide guitar, and sooo many new recipes have taken up much of my time. I find it hard to just create NOTHING…time seems wasted to me, but this is simply how I operate, sitting still, isn’t an option with me, something has to be moving in a direction … a new idea, an idea that’s been nurtured and watered and is growing into something tangible…new ideas dropping around that one. And of course, SPRING CLEANING has driven me into madness with colors and directions, textures and smells….visual stimuli all around!

Yesterday my husband bought me two goldfish. They are fascinating to me. They don’t do much, nothing too interesting at this point, but neither do most ‘pets’…it takes them time to show their true personalities…sometimes it’s right away, and sometimes it’s something we’re just not accustomed to seeing…a Goldfish with personality?  Mostly they float…and eat, and then spit their food back out and then eat it and then spit it out and then chase it around a bit. I gave them a piece of broccoli and they went wild on it!!! THIS is amusing to me now.  I read all kinds of things about goldfish ( you just don’t KNOW how cool they are til you start reading about them ) and they can have peas (out of the shells) Broccoli, spinach, and a friend of mine said he gave his little tiny pieces of licorice … ? Hmmmm  .  I haven’t come up with names for them, my husband calls one “Dennis Rodman” because of the bright red cap on it….but I think ‘denise rodman’ is a denise…..if ya know what I mean.

Now add these fish to my Super Jungle I live in…with all these crazy birds outside my window…and it’s spring which  means I can start my color trend of Massive amounts of sunflowers ANYWHERE I can plant them. I am looking forward to posting the photos of the BLOOMS when they happen, which takes about 60 days. So in June…the first week’s worth of sunflowers will start to show. In a few weeks or so, I’ll start a new week or planting them ANYWHERE! haaa, and I mean anywhere! If i see a spot that I can drop a seed, I do. I just keep doing that for about a week straight….I’ve planted these new kinds of sunflowers…Lime Green, and White…as well as Crimson, red, orange, gold, yellow. Some have HUGE centers, some have small centers, some get 8 feet some get 5 feet, some get 3…so it’s going to be stunning (in my opinion) to see where they grow and how they look…(and if I actually got them in a straight line..HA!)  ALL this, for my eyes to be in constant view of Pretty Things…and because the birds go WILD on sunflowers…and the birds are such an incredible little species to me, with all their diff songs.

I’ve been distracted. That could be my status update, in 3 words.

Spring has distracted me so much, that I have fallen into different places in life, for awhile. The outcome, will be a song, or an amazing piece of color, or a new recipe….however it comes out, it’s always better to see it in front of me, taste it in my mouth, have it in my hands, or have it coming out in something audible, tangible….then to have it stuck inside.