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I have never struggled so much, as I have with this CD.  The original title, based on the song Roadmap, has faded, as the CD and it’s list of songs, has progressed, so have the ideas.  I have decided to mix this CD with some Live content, stories for the songs, some poetic acoustic….some blues and quite a flavor of lyrical visuals.  Many of you have pre ordered the disc, even though it’s Untitled, not unfinished   I guess just because something doesn’t have a name, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

Below is a blog about all the songs listed on the cd…and perhaps I’ll have a listening party, and you can tune in….listen to the flavor of it, and decide on a title that you think is appropriate. I’m struggling with it. The person who comes up with a Title, that really fits my bones, and fits the cd (i’m VERY particular) will win a copy of the 13 song disc, as well as an original Art Piece.  Not to mention I’ll drop your name on the CD as the creator of the title.
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After writing a bit yesterday, in the breaks of a long dry spell….lyrically, not much is happening, but I’m certainly not at a loss for words.  It kinda hit me out of nowhere. ‘Roadmap’.  RoadMap, is actually an old song, I wrote at a Crossroads in my life, one of those inevitable times of change, many years ago.  The song is about Acceptance, it’s about Inner Peace, it’s about letting the distractions of the world, out…so they no longer inhibit you, so you can do, what it is you are supposed to do, in this world, with your life.  I’ve been holding onto this song a lot lately, and it seems to have presented itself over and over in my life, either by the requests of another, who has heard it once (it’s not a song I did very often) or by a new listener, who asks “Will that be on a Cd?”…ok, yep…In fact, that’s what I’ve decided to Call the CD, or should I say, it’s what it seems to have SCREAMED at me…’SUZEN THIS IS YOUR TITLE!’, poof. Done.   The rest should fall right into place now.

I’ve decided that this is going to be quite a ‘history’ of a Cd, with a scale of about 15-20 years worth of songs, that have been dug out of my old song books, old memories, histories, stories, photographs, remembering, forgetting…  I’m not quite where I want to be, in the ‘book phase’ of my life, meaning….I want to write, and I will and I do, but it comes out in song, that’s how it presents itself most of the time, a few verses and there is the whole story, right there….WELL COME ON! So, I guess you can say, this CD is like a book, but with lyrics and poetry, not 400 pages or more of print. Each song is a place, each song has a face, a personality, a history, a memory, a need, a want, a picture, a voice. Each song has a story of a memory, a dream, an experience…and on occasion, the inspiration of another persons story, someone’s inspiration, someones persepctive, or a combination of thought, carried out thru the spirits that cross our paths, in life, our kindred spirits, brothers, sisters…family without the trace of family.

If that makes any sense to you, you are just as NUTS as I am…thankfully!  Back to the grind now….Roadmap, is closer to being finished than ever before.  I look forward to hearing your feedback on it, once it’s released. Much love to you all, much peace, and either I”ll see you in the Virtual, or the Real, either way…say hi

-Suzen JueL (Resistance)

Etched upon my Living Soul

Today Felt SO Good!  It always feels good when you set out to do, what you accomplish to do.  I had 14 CD’s to mail, and again and again and again…I thank U, sincerely. Your support has been generous.  When I first began making the ‘Limited Edition’ CD, I was a bit nervous about releasing a small sample of the songs, yet to be released. I was talking with my musician friend MJ Kroll, and she’s sooo encouraging, and she asks ‘Suzen, how many do you hope to sell?.”  By this time, I had sold 3, and it was the first hour or so that I had released the ‘Limited Edition’….usually things spark quick and die fast…at least that’s how life seems to work with me most times, haaaaa. “6 by the end of the night,” I finally said. That was my goal. By the end of the night I had accomplished that, and I had not actually expected it, ya know…how we are sometimes, we don’t give ourselves enough credit, do we?

In the next 10 days or so, I sold 13.  Last night, another friend of mine had heard of the CD and said ‘SIGN ME UP WORM LICKAH” yes, this is how she talks to me, Drusilla Clappsdale. I sighed that annoying sigh….knowing I would have to now, burn another cd, arrange it like the others etc…yeah, each cd is burned individually, I do it all…yep!!! SO since I had this stack of yellow mailing envelopes ready to go, I added hers in there…and of course reminded her SHE SHOULD REALLY READ THE BLOG Eh? I said “DRU it’s LIMITED, that means it’s gone, the link is gone, the post is gone”………She bought one anyway, she’s quick like that, so of course, I had to be quick on it…after losing sound on my computer Again, and having to mess around with updating and reinstalling blah blah (damn microsoft updates RAPE my computer every time)…

I got up early. 45  Min later I had stuffed all the envelopes, pushed the labels on, signed them, and ….then went to the post office, spent another 45 minutes there, because the lady at the post office had to push in each individual stamp for each envelope going over seas, which was Half of them…that was pretty cool though. Half the cd’s sold, were sold to people in the USA and Canada, the other half were WAY WAY over on the other side. Accomplishment, considering what a procrastinator I am. I really am…I put things off, WAY to the end, til basically I HAVE to do it, cuz a deadline is a deadline…right?

So I just wanted to say Thanks again, ya’ll ROCK, it was a very wonderful feeling to do something, ‘almost’ on time, because You bought it, and you wanted it, and there is nothing better than giving something to someone, who really wants what you are presenting to them. It’s on it’s way. I hope you enjoy the CD as much as I enjoyed the process of creating.

-Suzen JueL

Perspective

A Different Kind of Right…I think that is what I’m settling on for the Title of the New Cd.  I was thinking…about perspectives, I believe I probably think about perspectives quite often. Anyway it kinda hits me out of nowhere, you’re not Wrong in how you view the world, you’re a Different Kind of Right.

Ahhhhh Relief hits like a warm blanket, lights erupt…this was a few weeks ago, and I wrote it down right away, of course…one does not want to forget certain kinds of thoughts, eh?  So next came a mini flood of words:

“We are from the same big sky, just a different kind of light

It’s the same song that heals, with a different kind of right.”

Now, after finally finishing the ‘teaser’ of limited editions, my mind is in Record Mode again, songwriting seems to be what my blood exists of right now.  Ironically, during my Facebook Updates, I had stumbled across those wonderful links again, about Creativity and Bipolar, the Link has been established etc…etc….Famous Bipolar Musicians, Bipolar’s Impact on Society, etc… One thing is clear, and that it’s not necessarily a genius or creative person that has bipolar, and not all bipolar people are creative. Many are not. But most creatives, are bipolar.  Perhaps nothing is clear at all, it’s kind of like ‘What came first?’… I do know this though…it doesn’t take just a few things to inspire me, or it doesn’t take a whole world of crisis either, it’s a personal inspiration. Everyone is different, no matter what, but I go more on the lines of thinking….”Take away  bipolar, and how many creative souls would no longer create?” “medicate a creative person, do they become bipolar?’ The Questions are never ending and they shoot out like giant rays of light in every direction, touching every aspect, to every degree there is.  It’s more like….sometimes everything is under a big magnifying glass, it’s not putting things that don’t exist into anyone with a disorder of sorts, per say…it’s only making what is there More evident, sometimes exaggerated, sometimes brilliant beyond what others could ever see…Magnifying glass, bringing everything, closer, stronger, more intense.

I’ve had numerous debates, talks and discussions on the subject, and I can stand my claim on the fact, that creativity runs in my family, THICK…and no one in my family is bipolar. And others do not see things ‘wrong’ compared to how I see things, we just see things differently.

Imagine a Giant circle of people…above them is an enormous spectrum of light. You see nothing but green, the person next to you sees brilliant yellow, someone else sees red, someone else blue….We’re all looking at the SAME LIGHT but we are each seeing it from our Perspective, our point of view. No one is wrong in the color they see…Just a Different Kind of Right.