A site for my art, music, pictures, and words.

I don’t even know where to begin, as once again I realize it’s been a bit of time since I’ve updated my blog. This often happens when life takes over and I get blissfully and wickedly wrapped and caught up inside it. I have spent the past 3 weeks preparing for one of the biggest events in a long time… the Urban Arts Event. http://www.urbanarts-tc.com/ which I was chosen to participate in. 30 Local artists were selected, some had 10 pieces involved, some had one, I had submitted 4 pieces and they chose 3 of them. Pretty great odds, but still, I was blown away and a nervous wreck!!! I had some amazing support from family and friends and people I’ve never even met, until that evening.  I arrived there early and I had asked Joe (one of the coordinators) if I could help and he put my friend and I to work right away. I was more than happy to be helping, as it gave me a first hand look at most All of the art that would be on display. Major amounts of space were used and hundreds of art work hung from various pieces of wood. After about an hour I finally got to my 3 pieces and we set those up as well, directly adjacent to the Jazz Band…which was the best ear candy I’ve had in a long time! The event began at 7PM and went to 1PM. I had come with a friend who offered to join me, however she wanted to leave early and said she would gladly bring me back to her place, and give me directions back so I could just hop in my car. Well, I’m a big hot mess when it comes to driving in unfamiliar territory, so to my major disappointment,  my safest option was to call it a night. Unfortunately I really didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye or thank you to anyone….it was just ‘time to go’….I swallowed my disappointment and decided it’s time to get a GPS, because the only person one can truly count on, is oneself. Lesson 1 was gladly learned and it feels really great to just rely on my own self.

The weekend went by far too quick in the cities, my friend and I spent a lot of time near St. Anthony Main in the cities…she’s a huge history buff and enjoyed filling me in on all the spectacular sights I saw, my camera in hand as I snapped photos, ate amazing food, had some great beers, some great laughs, and really great people watching!!! Being near the water has always been where I feel the most at home, as I was raised in a city that was surrounded by water (Upper Michigan). On Sunday Morning I went to pick up my art, thanked Joe (he and April Erickson..both amazing artists, were the coordinators for the event along with a couple other talented souls who also displayed their art)….I couldn’t thank them enough, and explained to them in so many words my quick departure…gratitude is key in my life, and leaving people without thanking them is not my forte…it’s not what I do.

Coming home was an incredibly welcoming experience, my art in the back of my car, next to my guitar….I had run into my very talented friend MJ Kroll who has a House Party this weekend (see my calendar) and asked if I would like to be a part of it….OH HELL YEAH…this girl knows how to rock the best of them. So a gig on Saturday Aug. 21′st…I hope if you are local, you can make it!! Also on Sept. 16th I will be performing a show at BAR FLY… information here… https://tickets.aftonshows.com/SuzenJueL You may purchase your online tickets there.  And while I’m at it, here are a few BIG DEALS that fans can do … to support an artist. POST the event on your myspace/facebook/twitter. Give people flyers to the event, word of mouth is so necessary. When You purchase the tickets for the show….you will be given fliers to hand out…post one at your job, your apt.building…anywhere. It’s SO Easy and well, I can’t do it all by myself!

This is the time of year, my soul soars and my emotions run strong and steady. I’m so aware of every thing that I see, and the core of my soul, is NEVER wrong. However, I have learned, not everyone is ok with my observations,…sometimes I hit the nail on the head so hard it makes my own head spin, not to mention the head of those around me. Knowledge is power though, and those that truly know me, know my soul. I have sadly learned….not everyone has the compassion to deal with such realities and well, that’s ok, I just don’t have any room for the ignorant of the world…they drain me with their need for constant explanations of themselves and their constant need to for petty attentions. I have also learned…in the most amazing beautiful way, I am CRAZY about the world and even though the people I sometimes surround myself, are often large disappointments, there are so many beautiful things around me…how could I possibly allow the black tar attitude of some, to ever stain my view…No way.  So today, as I’m feeding the birds, a hummingbird lands on my finger….perches there and drinks the  nectar I just poured. The sun rose today and the earth turned golden, the sun is brilliant and warm on my skin, my mother loves me with no conditions, my husband is my best friend ever, and would defend my honor come hell or high water and as each day goes by, I adore him more and more.  NOpe…the world is far from perfect, but it’s perfectly normal to me.

I am still submitting my art to local art shows, and my music to local venue’s. If you are local (FRom the Twin Cities Metro) feel free to pass my links along. But More than ANYTHING ELSE….As a great musician once wrote.. “Don’t let nobody drag your spirit down!!!”  For every one bad egg in your life, there are 11 more that are good, and don’t you ever forget it!!! Sometimes birds can still fly with tattered wings, sometimes babies laugh when we cry, sometimes the sting of the bee is what cures you.

Spread your heart….be compassionate…be loving….and never criticize what you don’t understand, because under that buzzing mound of stingers and bees, is the sweetest honey…and only those that dare prepare themselves for it, will ever know it’s sweetness.

PS . for those wanting Pickles from me….Let me know, I’ve got quite a few jars made!!! Sorry,but it’s not free! All ingredients are from my garden. Dill pickles…garlic, fresh dill…sometimes tumeric and curry…..You pay the shipping and donate what you want to…I’ll mail them to you  (juelresistance@gmail.com  for paypal deposit…put in your note PICKLES)

My mom and I sat on the floor of the spare bedroom with our bare feet and some nail polish and talked while we painted each others feet. I chose Blue and Red, my right foot red, my left foot blue…and painted my mothers toe nails a deep crimson color that we both melted over. We had already had a great dinner and were preparing for bed, the day before my surgery.  The next morning, we woke up EARLY, I made a cup of coffee and then realized I can’t have anything to drink, so mom had it  instead..LUCKY her! My dad and husband had some coffee and my nervous ass headed into the car with my family and off we drove to Southdale, Fairview…Cardiac Unit….where the most amazing doctors, awaited my arrival.  I was trying not to think about it, but of course it rested on my mind, heavy…like all things that we do not understand or grasp or are unfamiliar with, it can be frightening. People were going to go Into My Body, to look at my heart.

The nurse gave me my gown and the cute little socks they give you, that you would NEVER be caught dead in, in a million years, outside of a surgical room. I looked at her with question marks in my eyes “I need to get naked?” and laughed a little laugh, ahhhhh, some of the nervous tension was coming out. I stripped down, put the gowns on. Tie it in the back, put the robe on, put the little ugly socks on and wait a few moments while various doctors came in and out to take blood from me, poke me and comfort me.  The first doc. comes in, introduces himself, asks me to say my name and birth day…they ALL did this..that way they’re NEVER taking a chance on operating on the wrong person……i mean, I wouldn’t want to wake up after surgery with a new eye, or a missing leg, haaa!  He said ” You comfortable Suzen?” I couldn’t help but laugh…’Um NO….I’m Naked….not really comforting” lmao!  He drew some blood and off he went.  My family came in and we talked a bit…and the doctor came in and talked to my family about what was about to take place….there was a chance I would have some amnesia due to the sedatives they would give me, so he went over everything,  because it was likely I wouldn’t remember much of it. I was awake for the whole procedure. When I was taken into the operating room, my doc. put on some BLUES on the Sirius radio, while a nurse injected the calming drugs into my IV…I remained quite aware of everything, with minimal pain. They put a catheter into a vein in my right leg, pushed it all the way up (yes…i could feel this and it was ODD feeling) to my heart. Once in place…they left me, while a nurse sat near by monitoring a screen (perhaps she was tweeting?) and then the funky part started. My heart began to pound, they also had injected adrenaline into me, so cause my heart to race…this is how they can find the part of my heart that is firing off rapidly, causing the 300 or more beats per minute, that I had been experiencing off and on, most all my life. This hurt slightly, sometimes a bit of a sharp pain. Then it would stop, then it would race, and they did this for a bit, at 3 second intervals. After about 45 min..the found it…..20 min later I was finished. I heard GOT IT, coming from the back of the room, and my doc. came up with a big smile. “We got it Suzen, the surgery was successful!!!”

Before my family could finish their lunch, their pager rang with the nurse telling them, I was finished and they could come and see me shortly.  The rest is a bit of a blur, and I was required to lay still and NOT move my leg for the next 4 hours….after that, they had me walk and checked the area where they had gone in several times, all was clear…

Now it’s been a few days…and it’s different than I expected. It’s something I’ve had about 30 years, and I find myself in awe, that my heart no longer flutters or runs off in it’s little marathon. I keep doing things cautiously, like I have been…because I’ve always been careful not to ‘Trigger’ this rapid heart beat, for fear it wouldn’t stop, for fear of having to go to ER again, or fear of passing out. All those hot showers that triggered it, or hot days, or jumping up and down…all these things I’ve not done for YEARS, I can do…and still find myself tip toeing around these things…..I guess it hasn’t sunk in yet, that it’s gone, and perhaps there is a part of me that feels it’ll come back, because it always has…it’s always been there.  I guess it would be like…if you had a finger you never needed, and it caused you to often jumble things, or maybe cause injury because this extra thing….got in the way…and after MOST ALL YOUR LIFE, it’s gone…you are no longer in danger….(not that an extra finger would be dangerous..but try to imagine my analogy lol)….it takes some getting used to…not having, what you’ve always had, even if what you had, was not good for you.

I just wanted to update you all from the last post….My heart is fixed. My life is different. I’m excited about this and every day, I laugh when I’m in the shower…because I can have it as HOT AS I WANT, and I play my guitar and take Deep Breathe’s and don’t feel the Skip Skip anymore, and I stand up and sit down Really fast…because Now I can. I laugh a little louder and run a little faster, because now I can. All these things that seem so every day for everyone…are so new to me….and I didn’t know really…what I was missing, or that I was even missing anything. Now that these new freedoms present themselves, life is a bit easier…not so much worry, not so much stress…and to think…I once thought it was all normal…and realize now, THIS..is what it should have always been!

Another Big Shout out for all of your support these past weeks….it’s what carry’s me through. I am fortunate to have such great support in my life, in so many aspects of it.

Good day everyone! Some of you might be aware, that this page is going to change soon, as Graeme is working his azzz off on making this more geared towards the ideas I have, and he has…which are collaborating quite nicely, I must say!!!

I took a little break from songwriting for awhile and suddenly seemed to get spit on  by my personal inner muse, who decided it was time to break the dry spell and pop out a few new ones…and after writing these new pieces, I realized a new theme was unfolding…and has been for quite some time…it’s just I don’t always notice these things, as they take their time, weaving themselves into my soul.

Rides. Rides, and more rides! Hangin’ On For The Ride, Did You Enjoy the Ride, Nothing Like I had with You, and He Wore Me Out….those are the new additions to my songs, and I must say, it’s probably the first time I’ve been pleased with all of them. Bluesy type feel, heavy lyrics, vocal stretches that are a bit new to me, and well….more guts than I’ve put into my music in awhile. I guess age has a few benefits eh? We really start finding our voice as we get older…perhaps wiser as well.

Bruce Springsteen once said “An artist/musician must always be troubled by something, that’s how the writing continues’… I agree 100%, sadly…but it is true. I once put on my profile “Always at a crossroads’ because I always am. I’m always contemplating the next step, always wondering what direction life will take me next. Sure I believe I make my own path, and my path is in the hands of my muse..she never lets me down, never never never…although when she disappears for awhile, I do get a bit worried, I mean, she is the essence of my soul, she is me, she is a vessel for me, inside me…and inhales those wonderful words and textures that surround me, or that I may sometimes miss. It’s more like absorbing a bunch of colors hoping that they’ll come out as a new color, and when they do, it’s truly the gift of the day for me! And when they don’t, well, nothing wrong with a little mud in my music eh?

And getting back to the TROUBLED BY SOMETHING statement, HELL YEAH! I’m always troubled. I’m used to this. It is as much of my life as breathing and I don’t have a clue what it’s like to live a life of never worrying or never contemplating. I must say though, it is nice to have those days where nothing bothers me. I think we hide things under our surface sometimes…so they can age, ripen, and eventually fall into our bowl of mental soup. If the ingredients are just right….or maybe I should say ‘just write’…well then it’s done…whatever creative thing my soul is cooking up, must come out somehow…be it a song, or a drawing, a painting, or just a random thought that I get to write down, to chew on at a later point. All little gifts my muse delivers…sometimes they make no sense, then another gift comes, and another, and eventually I see it as I am meant to see it and it all makes sense.

Troubles can come in the mOst unusual ways!!! An old friend from the past, raises their head, someone you may have forgotten….and they bring into your life, a little swarm of memories, some good, some not so good…and there comes more lyrical emotionally packed sentences…phrases, pictures and eventually a finished product…of sorts. Troubles can also come by allowing your mind (GOD HELP YOU IF YOU DO) letting your mind wander in the wrong direction, creating scenarios that will never happen…it’s a fun little mental game for a few minutes, but dwell too long and well, you just gave your mind some CRAP you don’t think you need….but the mind or our muse has a beautiful way of taking all the CRAP OUT of our minds and creating something fertile, something useful, something beautiful!!!

The New songs will be on the cd I am currently working on. This will be my 4th ‘professional CD’….and of course, who knows what ‘random’ number it is…I’ve made quite a few CD’s and recordings over the past 25 years or more…I mean, well, I shouldn’t say a few….I can’t recall, there have been many and I am thankful for my lil muse for being so complex and amazing.  Just realize that when I refer to my inner muse….it’s me, I mean, don’t be thinking I’m all crazy that way…..then again, I guess that’s already been established…nothing plain or ordinary about me, but that doesn’t mean I’m a freak show either!! Just a little off the beaten path, I suppose.

There is a lot going on this summer….and I encourage you to keep checking out the links I’ve put up on the side, for new music, updates etc….

My fan page on facebook is the primary one that I use and I would be honored if you would like to Join it !

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=129165623776368#!/pages/Suzen-JueL/45430674299?ref=ts

Adding to the rest of all this…my passion for bird watching has kicked up full notch!!! I have quite a few pics in my Bird Folder on Flickr.com/suzenjuel if you care to look…I have several nests on my house and the barn swallows of summer have begun their brooding and nesting…it’s quite amazing, watching them. I also put a bird feeder out in my garden….a few birds came the first few days..a.nd after a full week, they emptied it out. NOW…..I have to refill it every other day!!! I guess WORD OF MOUTH works even in the Birds Lives….. Feel free to Spread the seed of my music around…that is if it inspires you in any way, or makes you feel good, or anything… send it off to a friend.   CD’s are on itunes and this website as well…please, don’t take my music for free, it doesn’t help me one bit. This is my career and it’s what I do. This is my livelihood , whether it brings in copious amounts of cash (can’t hurt to dream) of $10, it’s all put to good use, trust me!!!

Have a fantastic week all of you and thank YOU for reading me again!

-Suzen JueL