A site for my art, music, pictures, and words.

Give Me Mercy, was also called “Power of My Sin”…I had the honor of being interviewed by NPR with Bill Lichtenstein and also recording 2 songs, this being one of them.  This was written on the Roof of one of the first Virtual ‘Living Room’s” now known as Living Room #13

I was sitting with two friends in Second Life ™ and excused myself, logged off, wrote this song….shared it with them that night…

Give Me Mercy ( Power of my Sin)

in my life now, i have crumbled
i have fallen, face to the sky

i have stumbled, onto something
been forgiven, in the bottom of my sin

give me mercy…give me peaceful…
give me nothing, but the power of the rain
give me one love, give me freedom (thunder)
give me nothing, but the power of my sin

in my life now, i’ve been sober
i’ve been down and around, far too many times
been forsaken, i have risen
i have been face to the ground, wings to the sky

i will fall down, I will rise
i will go out of this world, right before your eyes
cuz i have been there, i have lived there
i will die there, in the power of my sin

Flower

Here is another insane idea, cuz ya know, I wouldn’t have any other kind.  Perhaps you’ll find it brilliant, perhaps you’ll find it a complete waste of time. No matter…here it is.  As I prepare for the final cuts on the new CD, I think, Why not post some of the other songs…from ‘RoadMap’  So here are the Lyrics to ‘Coffee Cup’ a song many of you have Never heard, because..um..er..I rarely perform this one, it’s old, it’s been buried and forgotten.  So it presents itself again, and Lyrically I ask you, dear readers…..Yes? No?  This album is for YOU, and why not give me your personal feedback?  Here goes:

The Fish

Coffee Cup – 1992, and written next to it, it says… ‘Songs on Tape’..yeah, it was that long ago!

There’s some coffee brewing in the kitchen, I think I’ll have a cup

Nurture my hung over thoughts, last night I had too much.

Too much of your pretty faces, telling me dirty lies

too much of your careless love, telling me goodbye.

….Sleepin is hard without you, by my side. I got used to you, being there when I….called your name.

There’s a sunny day turning cold outside, maybe I will, go back to bed

too little sleep and my achin head, I just couldn’t close my mind….I was calling your name

And I tossed and turned, just thinking you were there

and I squeezed my pillow tight, the morning came much too soon

and I barely remember the night….. and the day goes by

.There’s some coffee brewing in the kitchen, an empty cup, that bares your name

guess you won’t be drinking coffee, in the mornings here again…….

……Suzen

I’ve been crazy full of nonsense ideas, but of course those often turn into not so nonsense ideas…and then the break in the dam, just kind of happens.  The other day, I pulled out one of my WAY too many Books. I have a thing, for empty books, especially ones with amazing textured papers in them, where I can press that black ink down and doodle out the mental waves of my own insanity.

A friend once told me, “in order to help you focus, just draw out a word tree, start with one word, and write down what it reminds you of and etc…etc…” and in my mind, it was a HELL of a tree, and if you look really close at the branches of a tree, in mid winter, it’s like a giant RoadMap, the trunk, the branches, the smaller branches, the buds, the leaves, the texture of it all…the MANY ways you can sprout off in life.  There is always the Main Root, the Trunk, the Main Path….and then there are the other paths, and sometimes different things grow, on those other path’s.

palms of hands, viens in leaves, branches of trees, Roadmaps

SOOOOOOoooo, I’m drawing and words are flying through my head. Sketching words and pictures as fast as I can, smiling ear to ear to think of how funny it is, that I’ve been in a dry patch MAJOR for the past few months, and then I think, Nooooooo. I’ve been creating other things, like the Spine of this new CD.  I’ve so far, decided on about 20plus songs for this new cd. My Goal was to have 35, but that’s not necessarily necessary (haaa)… I don’t have to have a certain number of songs, I just have to make my point…that could be done in 3 songs.., or 7 or 40…it wouldn’t matter. What does matter, is the Theme, the Outcome.

In 1994, I ended a long term relationship I was in. I made a pact with my soul and my life…to follow my instinct, to do what is right, and to live a life that would only be, my music and I.  But life had other plans, and introduced me to my soulmate…I  became immersed in raising 4 awesome kids, and pretty much putting music on the backburner for about a decade.  When I finally picked up my guitar again, for the 2nd phase of my life, I had been introduced to Second Life ™ and once again, began the Pathway of music.  Much has happened during that time. Much has changed me since then too. Many challenges have crossed my Path and so many wonderful souls, have touched my life.

Now, here we are, going into the final countdown of 2009, the Holidays..the holidays..the HOLIDAYS (can’t wait til it’s all done!!!) and I’m faced with  a direction to take this CD.  Yeah I KNOW I said it would be ready by Mid November, but I’m learning that I can’t decide these things, IT Decides these things. Just like the SONG dictates itself, sometimes so do our choices…they all lead to a certain destination, we’ve learned this.  There are papers all over my studio floor, sketched with little drawings, confessions, stick people, words, ideas. There is a microphone waiting patiently for a new song, and it will always be patient. I’m the one who often loses Patience, heh!  It will finish itself soon, and your patience, is wonderful. Thanks for tuning into the shows, for showing up, for presenting yourselves, your stories, your confessions, your lives…with me, For you have all been an inspiration to the making of this CD as well.

Have a wonderful holiday season, and keep coming back…the C D is nearly finished, hitting the final phases of the backbone, the spine, and soon the body will form and it will be in your mailboxes, or itunes, or amazon…waiting for you to listen to it’s stories. Peace!

-Suzen JueL

After writing a bit yesterday, in the breaks of a long dry spell….lyrically, not much is happening, but I’m certainly not at a loss for words.  It kinda hit me out of nowhere. ‘Roadmap’.  RoadMap, is actually an old song, I wrote at a Crossroads in my life, one of those inevitable times of change, many years ago.  The song is about Acceptance, it’s about Inner Peace, it’s about letting the distractions of the world, out…so they no longer inhibit you, so you can do, what it is you are supposed to do, in this world, with your life.  I’ve been holding onto this song a lot lately, and it seems to have presented itself over and over in my life, either by the requests of another, who has heard it once (it’s not a song I did very often) or by a new listener, who asks “Will that be on a Cd?”…ok, yep…In fact, that’s what I’ve decided to Call the CD, or should I say, it’s what it seems to have SCREAMED at me…’SUZEN THIS IS YOUR TITLE!’, poof. Done.   The rest should fall right into place now.

I’ve decided that this is going to be quite a ‘history’ of a Cd, with a scale of about 15-20 years worth of songs, that have been dug out of my old song books, old memories, histories, stories, photographs, remembering, forgetting…  I’m not quite where I want to be, in the ‘book phase’ of my life, meaning….I want to write, and I will and I do, but it comes out in song, that’s how it presents itself most of the time, a few verses and there is the whole story, right there….WELL COME ON! So, I guess you can say, this CD is like a book, but with lyrics and poetry, not 400 pages or more of print. Each song is a place, each song has a face, a personality, a history, a memory, a need, a want, a picture, a voice. Each song has a story of a memory, a dream, an experience…and on occasion, the inspiration of another persons story, someone’s inspiration, someones persepctive, or a combination of thought, carried out thru the spirits that cross our paths, in life, our kindred spirits, brothers, sisters…family without the trace of family.

If that makes any sense to you, you are just as NUTS as I am…thankfully!  Back to the grind now….Roadmap, is closer to being finished than ever before.  I look forward to hearing your feedback on it, once it’s released. Much love to you all, much peace, and either I”ll see you in the Virtual, or the Real, either way…say hi

-Suzen JueL (Resistance)

Etched upon my Living Soul